When Stuck in a SpaceTime Rift
by infernalnightstepper
Summary: ...go to high school? Well, Temujin totally blasted that Gelel explosion into a black hole, right? Well, things like that have got to have consequences. Who knew Madara would wind up saving the shinobi world? Rated T for Tayuya
1. Intro!

**9/7/10: EDIT AGAIN.** so I got a good title (sorta) and updated the summary. Yaaay. Oh. And I'll be adding a new first chapter. God I'm reaally bad at this updating-in-chronological-order thing.

**9/6/10: ANOTHER EDIT**. Okayyy. so I just found out that there's ANOTHER fic by the name of 'Exchange Student Program' or something like it (go read it by the way, it's awesome: (http:/ www. fanfiction. net /s/ 3371765 /1/ Exchange_Program) just remove the spaces.

So therefore, (I was gonna change the title anyway but now it's IMPERATIVE that I do so RIGHT NOW...) this fic will now be christened 'Tobi and the Amazing Time Rift of Doom' ...no. how about 'Naruto's SUPER AWESOME ADVENTURE!' ...oh HELL no.

Fine, fine. How about... 'Rock Lee: From Canada to Konoha' yeah, that's the stuff-WHAT? NO WAY.

whatever. I'll think of something. XD

* * *

EDITED. REVAMPED. MUCH BETTER. **YOSH**!

**The plot that I couldn't fit into the textbox: So we know that Temujin created a space-time rift with a powerful summoning jutsu to suck up most of the power of the Gelel stones (in the 2nd Naruto movie for those who don't know). What we don't know is just how drastic that space-time rift was.**

**This story takes place a couple years later, and our heroes wake up to find that their beloved Narutoverse is, well, gone.**

**So how are they still in existence? You can thank Madara for that.**

**But they can't live in limbo forever. They need somewhere to go, right? And what better place to fit in than high school? I mean, there's all kinds of freaks in those places anyway. They just didn't count on THIS high school being so..._normal._**

So this...erm...piece of writing was created purely for my own amusement a while back, and I must say it wasn't that great. It was just one of those stock Naruto-goes-to-school things and I must say it wasn't very well thought out or explained. Well, I'm getting up off my butt and getting it into gear, and now it's better and kind of has a sort-of-not-quite-there plot! Not really! But still! Awesome! Sort of!

I might make mistakes concerning the Narutoverse and how it works. If you feel I slip up a bit please let me know and I'll take a look.

So I'll just shut up now and get to work on revamping the chapters, eh? (I'M ROCK LEE, EH!)

Oh. And you might want to get caught up on the Manga (or anime I guess) and at the very least the second Naruto movie as well (The Legend of the Stones of Gelel) to understand...otherwise:** SPOILER WARNING**.

thank you.

~ins


	2. Of Tomatoes and Flashes

YEEEEAH! **spoilers** for chapter 500 and on!

**CHAPTER ZERO: THE PROLOGUE OF THE PROLOGUE**

_**In which we begin with the meeting of the Tomato and her son**_

**/\**

"_Mom…"_

"_Naruto, I'm going to tell you my lfie story. Well, really I'm just going to have a very long flashback, and then when we get back you will understand everything and it will be very emotional. Okay?"_

"_Awesome!"_

"_I know, right? Okay, so this one time, I was pregnant. Okay, well, it was the only time I was pregnant. And I'm pretty sure it's the last time, too. Unless, you know, you can get pregnant in heaven. Which would be kind of weird, considering. But anyway, like I was saying…so I was going to have you, and I saw good old whatsername Uchiha, who I was really good friends with…you might know her son, Sasuke…?"_

"_Ugh. Don't remind me."_

"_Ooh. Rocky relationship?"_

"_That sounds really gay, Mom."_

"_Riiight. Whatever. Anyway, so we went to this cave…which is a really strange place to give birth in by the way, and Minato was going to watch over the seal so the kyubi didn't jump out of my stomach when you were done getting your fat head out of my womb…"_

"_Hey! Too much information! And I don't have a fat head!"_

"_Maybe not now. But, like, then this creepy guy with a swirly mask showed up and was all like 'dude, you're going to either let me kill the kid, or you're going to let me have the Nine-Tails' but the seal wasn't done resealing sooo Minato was all like 'no way, biatch you should totally calm down' and the swirly guy says 'speak for yourself, I'm perfectly calm' and he throws you up in the air and Minato goes all flashy and saves you and the next thing I know I'm totally somewhere else on an altar thing and the swirly guy's all like…"_

"_MOM!"_

"…_Yeah?"_

"_You're turning red in the face. Take a breather, and stop talking in so many run-on sentences."_

"_Geez, since when is my son monitoring my grammar for me?"_

"_Since…now? 'Cause you haven't aged in sixteen or so years?"_

"_Like, I know! It's so cool! Everyone is gonna be sooo jealous of me. So then the swirly guy takes control of the Nine-Tails and he's like 'destroy the village! Ahahahaha!' except he didn't really laugh like that. And then Minato came and we totally sealed the Nine-Tails in the dead demon seal in Minato's body and then also in your body, and I impaled myself on the Nine-Tail's claw because he was so going to kill you and I told you to make friends and don't worry, be happy and respect your teachers and stay away from Jiraiya and…here we are!"_

"_Wow, that was really fast."_

"_Well, it seemed that way."_

"_I just wanna say, Mom…you're the best parents I could ever hope for."_

"_N-naruto…you're not mad at us…? Even after knowing we sealed the Nine-Tails in you? We weren't there to love you."_

"_No, don't apologize. I've had a hard time growing up, but just seeing you guys now makes it all more meaningful somehow. I never blamed either of you, you know."_

"_Thanks. Thank you, Naruto."_

**/\/\/\/\/\**

Naruto grinned to himself, and to his surprise tears started to slip down his face. He felt blissfully happy, like everything in the world was going to be all right. Like, as if Sasuke suddenly turned completely around and had given him a big hug.

_Don't worry, Mom. I'll become a bigger badass than my father, and a stronger shinobi than my mother! HELL YEAH!_

But…something felt wrong. Naruto blinked open his eyes and looked around wildly, grabbing Yamato's shoulder and shaking him wildly back and forth. "Hey! Heyyy! You feel that?"

"Feel what? Naruto, are you on something? Are you all right? Did the Nine-Tails do something to your brain?"

"No! No, I can sense something. Like…something _really_ big. Really, really big."

In the darkness, under the bandages, Kisame breathed a curse that even Tayuya wouldn't have uttered. _Have I been found out? That's impossible! …And I'm not _that_ fat._

Yamato grabbed Naruto's shoulders in turn and started shaking _him_ wildly back and forth. "Is it the Nine-Tails? Are you going through post-traumatic shock?"

Naruto managed to shake his head while being rudely yanked around like a rag doll. "NO! Stop doing that! Listen, it feels like…like…well, I'm not too sure, but it feels really bad. I think I've experienced it before, though."

"That's it. It _must_ be the Nine-Tails. Naruto, brace yourself! I'm gonna use…"

"Bee! Help me out, here. It's not the Nine-tails, I swear!" Naruto implored, looking at Bee pleadingly. Bee shrugged and grinned.

"I got no idea what's up, but let Yamato freeze the pup."

"AARGH!" Naruto smacked his forehead. "Come on, I know it's not often that I know things before other people do, but can't you guys believe me here? _I REALLY DO_…feel…funny…"

But it was too late. Suddenly, the world was shaking and Naruto wasn't sure which way was up and which way was down…it being a completely white room made it all the more confusing. There was a violent crumbling sound and it appeared that the temple was beginning to break…and then there was this horrible silence, like a shadow had passed over the sun.

"Guys? Are you…?"

And then Naruto keeled over.

* * *

**Here it is, the new first chapter!**

**I dunno, Kushina seems like a really fun, hyperactive chick to me.**

**So..ah...yeah. That italics part is mainly Chapters 500-503-ish summed up in like three long sentences. Thanks, Kushina.**

**It just seems like she'd explain things like that, don't you think?**

**/**

By the way, sorry for the inconveniences! Oh, and reviews are certainly welcome.

**~ins**


	3. Of basements

**CHAPTER ONE**

_**In which Kin is NOT a less-than-minor character, and Shikamaru says 'basement' way too often**_

**/\**

Kin sat up in darkness with a gasp, her eyes snapping open. Exhaling shallowly, the Sound genin brought her hand up to her face. After confirming to herself that nothing was broken, she breathed a quiet sigh of relief. She looked around, and found that her eyes simply weren;t adjusting to the gloom whatsoever. This was unnatural blackness.

"Basement."

"_Huh_?" Kin jumped to her feet and whirled around, hand reaching for a couple of her needles. She searched the darkness with every sense, narrowing her eyes. Still nothing. Was she blind?

"Basement," the voice repeated, sounding rather annoyed. "Didn't you hear me before?"

Kin twitched at the familiar voice. Who…? Why did it sound so familiar? Lowering her sanbon needles slightly, she tilted her head to the side.

"Who are you?"

"Shikamaru Nara. I beat you in that troublesome preliminary exam."

Kin blinked. Oh. She raised her needles again, on the defense. If it came to a fight, she would be at a hopeless disadvantage; there were shadows everywhere! "Where are we?"

"I told you already." Shikamaru rolled his eyes and sat down on the cold concrete. "We're in a basement."

"A basement? What…? How?"

Shikamaru shrugged, though he knew the Sound genin wouldn't be able to see, and let out a small sigh. "It's too troublesome to try and figure it out," he muttered, and lay abruptly on his back, arms under his head. "I'm going to sleep now."

Kin furrowed her brow. "Wait. Do you know where we are, aside from beind in a basement? Where _is_ the basement?"

Snores answered her question. Kin snorted in disgust and shook her head, lowering her needles once more. This one wasn't going to attack her, it would be too _troublesome_. "Stupid lazy-ass."

So Kin sat alone in the darkness for what seemed to be hours, though in reality it was only about five minutes.

"_Eh_? …Shikamaru?"

Immediately, Kin was on the defensive. Another Konoha shinobi? What was going on here?

"O…oi! Shikamaru! Wake up!" Rustling sounds. Someone was trying to wake the lazy-ass up. Kin sat crosslegged, needles at the ready.

"Naruto!" Shikamaru's eyes snapped open. "Idiot, you're okay!"

Naruto laughed weakly. "Yeah, I'm okay. I feel so woozy, though. I must have blacked out…"

"Huh. Me, too."

"Hey, yeah…where are we, exactly?" Naruto asked suddenly, and Kin winced at the scratchy, high-pitched sound that was his voice.

"In a basement, apparently," Kin intoned from the darkness. There was a scuffling sound as the one called Naruto jumped to his feet, suddenly alert and aware.

"Who…who the hell is that?"

"Kin Tsuchi," Shikamaru muttered. "Of the Sound. The one I went up against in the prelims."

"Who?"

"The girl with the senbon needles, dumbass."

"What! _That_ girl? You didn't tell me she was there! She's one of Orochimaru's people!" Naruto whipped out a kunai and took a stance, eyes darting around in the gloom. Shikamaru pulled him back down.

"Hey, don't be so hasty!"

"WHY THE HELL SHOULDN'T I?"

Shikamaru snorted and lowered his voice, by force of habit rather than anything else, as Kin could hear him anyway. "If she tries, it's two on one; we could take her out easily."

Kin laid down, hand across her eyes. How long, exactly, would she be stuck with these two? She needed to get out, to get back to master Orochimaru! He said he needed her for a very important mission. If she wasn't present, she would definitely be in for it.

Naruto huffed and sat down slowly.

The silence stretched on for minutes before Naruto finally couldn't take it any more. "Okay! Shikamaru, let's bust out of here!"

"Stupid, we don't even know where we are!"

"I thought you said we were in a basement!" Kin snapped, annoyed. Shikamaru grunted.

"Yeah, but where's the basement? Don't be stupid, you asked the same question two minuets ago!"

"Awww, come _onnnn_!"

Kin flinched again. How could this boy be so _loud_?

"_Uuuuu-zuuuu-maki_!"

Not more Konoha idiots! Kin slapped her forehead and fell backwards once more. This was going to be torture.

"Inuzuka!" Naruto yelped, nearly jumping six feet in the air. "You're here, too!"

Kiba sat up, rubbing his head. "You're loud enough to wake the dead. Where are we?"

"A basement," Shikamaru supplied once more. He was beginning to get tired of this.

"Shikamaru! You're here, too?"

"Sort of."

Kin sighed loudly. "I might as well wait until any more of you Konoha idiots wake up to introduce myself."

"Eh?" Kiba's head jerked up and he was instantly on the alert. "Who's that?"

"I _just said_ that I…"

"Kin Tsuchi, from Otogakure."

Kiba growled, and out of nowhere something echoed him. "A Sound nin! Akamaru, sniff her out!"

"Calm down," Shikamaru muttered. "It'd be too troublesome to have a fight here. Suddenly, he frowned, a thought occuring to him. "Hey, Kiba. Who else is in this stupid room?"

"What makes you so certain that there _are_ more people?" Kin asked, just to say something.

"I can sense that this is a big room," Shikamaru replied, sounding bored. "Plus, my voice isn't echoing. That alone tells me that something must be absorbing my voice. Most likely, a lot of bodies, which are dense enough to do that. You, of all people, should know that."

Kin _hmf_ed. "I was testing you," she retorted.

"I'm _sure_ you were."

Oh, so he's also a smartass, huh?

Kiba sniffed the air, and immediately recoiled. "Ugh. A hell of a lot of people, that's for sure. I can't smell a single individual scent."

Shikamaru made a noise in his throat. "Ah, how troublesome. I wonder, what could have made this happen?"

"Either it's a very powerful genjutsu, or someone's knocked us all out at once, abducted us and put us in the basement, here."

"_Gwah_!" Naruto exclaimed, falling on his face. "Shino! What…where…when?"

"I was awake the whole time."

"What are you doing here?" Kiba asked. "I thought you were on a mission?"

"I'm not anymore. And that's nothing, since Tsuchi's supposed to be dead…hm. I suppose I just eliminated my own abduction theory.

Kin gasped. "Wh…_what_?"

"Ehhh!" Kiba and Naruto both exclaimed, simultaniously. "How is that possible?" Kiba added, narrowing his eyes in the gloom.

"I…I'm dead?" Kin squeaked, bringing her hands up to her face frantically. "That's…that's crazy!" but not so crazy. Now that she thought about it, the last thing she remembered before waking up in the basement was pain. Lots of pain.

Shikamaru sighed. "Whatever. This is troublesome. I'm going back to sleep."

"No you're not!" Naruto exclaimed, reaching out blindly and fumbling. Eventually, he got a hold of Shikamaru's flak jacket collar and shook him back and forth like a rag doll.

"You need to find a way out of here! Think, dammit!"

"Hey, Naruto! Stop shaking Shikamaru and use that Rasengan of yours to blast us out of here!" Kiba interrupted, smacking his fists together eagerly.

Naruto groaned and fell backwards. "How could I have _forgotten_ about that?"

"Don't waste your time. He couldn't find the wall even if it were right in front of him."

"S-SASUKE?"

* * *

**OHOHOHOHO. Didn't see THAT one coming did ya? Yeah, you probably did.**

**so. I don't know why I started off in Kin's perspective. I guess I felt that the Sound genin needed some love. And it's true! Dosu and Zaku and Kin are THE SHIT. **_**WERE**_**. THE SHIT.**

**So yeah. Enjoy!**

**~ins**


	4. Of high school musicals

**CHAPTER TWO**

**_In which we're ALL IN THIS TOGEEEETHERRR…!_**

**_(No, dammit! This is not High School Musical!)_**

**/\**

Shikamaru was floored. He wasn't just amazed, he was _floored_. They weren't in a basement, they were in another dimension. Or what seemed to be that big, anyway. It was still pitch black and he still had that feeling like he was in some sort of box, but the way Sasuke described it made it seem like it was a neverending plane of…of…of nothingness.

And speaking of Sasuke, his appearance _alone_ was unsettling. If he was here, who else was? Not to mention that Kin Tsuchi girl, who was, according to Shino, supposed to be _dead_.

"So, Sasuke. If what you say is true, and we really are in Madara's jutsu…" about that little twist, Shikamaru had high doubts. "Then that means…what, exactly?"

Sasuke sighed (Shikamaru could calculate his position at about six feet away) and shifted his weight slightly. "From what I can tell, Madara's mask can suck people into different dimensions. I'm not sure if it's genjutsu or not, but that's where we are now."

"Why the hell is Madara playing this game then, huh? Mind telling us, _Sasuke_?"

Sighing, Shikamaru put a hand to his forehead and rubbed his temples. "Naruto, it's not a fake Sasuke, all right? Stop being troublesome." Turning his head in Sasuke's direction, he raised his eyebrows questioningly. "He does have a point, though. What's Madara up to?"

"He wouldn't tell me," Sasuke muttered. "Last thing I remember, he walked off mumbling about a space-time rift."

Naruto scratched his head. "Space-time rift? Space…time…rift…huh. Where have I heard that before?"

Something went off in Shikamaru's head. He snapped his fingers suddenly, and the sound was lost to the blackness. "Gramps!"

"Wow, thanks Shikamaru. I really appreciate that," Naruto whined.

"_Not you_. Remember those nomads? The ferret?"

A long, painful pause. Then Naruto laughed slowly. "Ooooh yeahh! That stupid cat was so _annoying_…waaaaaaait a minute, what are you saying, here?"

Sasuke sounded irked when he spoke next. "What are you two talking about?"

Shikamaru sighed. "It's a long story. Naruto can tell you sometime."

"Huh. Spare me."

"Hey! Quiet, you impostor."

"You be quiet, dead-last."

"I am intrigued. What does this ferret have to do with where we are now?" Shikamaru almost jumped. He'd forgotten Shino was still there.

"Well, the ferret doesn't, but there was this kid…eh, I forget his name…"

"Temujin! His name is Temujin." Shikamaru could almost hear Naruto grinning. "He's a lot like you, Sasuke. Only…blond. And he can smile."

Shikamaru smirked; that much was true. "Naruto, maybe you should tell them about the summoning jutsu, since you were actually there."

"Oh! Right, the jutsu." Naruto shifts into a different position next to Shikamaru and leans back on his hands. "Uhh, sure. Well, there was this big jutsu diagram on the floor and Gramps said it could summon a space-time rift if Temujin activated it…creating a black hole and stuff. So he did, and it stopped the mines of Gelel. But I don't get it. What's that gotta do with anything?"

Somewhere over to the left, Kiba snorted. "Gelel? What the hell is _that_?"

Shino hummed softly in his throat. "Shikamaru…you're saying this could have been what Madara was talking about?"

"I dunno. It could be." Ugh. He could already tell this was going to be a drag. "This sucks."

* * *

**SOO. I'm not entirely sure how Madara's mask thing works, but this is how it goes in this story. So there.**

**This is a pretty short chapter. Sorry about that. More next tine.**

**~ins**


	5. Of melodrama

OKAY.. MAAAJOR SPOILERS for chapter 480, or thereabouts. Okay, maybe not so major, but...

**CHAPTER THREE**

**_In which we get a bit melodramatic in the mind of Sasuke_**

It was weird, being stuck in the dark and surrounded by people and yet feeling so alone. Sasuke leaned back and closed his eyes; there was no difference if he was to open them, anyway.

He was used to being alone in a crowd; he'd grown up that way, distancing himself from everyone else. But ever since he'd started to really appreciate being on a team with Sakura and Naruto…and then there was Suigetsu and Karin and Juugo…

Huh. Speaking of which…where were they? Last he'd seen Karin, he'd put a lightning bolt through her chest. And Juugo and Suigetsu were…well, he hadn't a clue.

So much for teamwork, but Sasuke was a lone wolf. He always seemed to end up that way.

And now he was stuck in Madara's void, all because of a space-time rift that some punk had caused two years ago.

Jeez, why did he have to be such an emo? _Curse you, Itachi._

Shikamaru's voice came suddenly out of the gloom. "Sasuke, you have any idea where Madara is now?"

"No," Sasuke muttered, still grouchy about his gloomy personality. "Why?"

"Because I'd like to punch him into next week!" Naruto exclaimed, smacking his fist into his palm.

Shikamaru stamped on Naruto's foot. "_Because_ he should explain what the hell this is all about."

"I might as well lessen the suspense, then."

"WHO'S THAT?"

"Shut up, Kiba. That was right in my ear."

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry, Shikamaru. But…WHO _IS_ THAT?"

Sasuke sighed. "Madara likes to make sudden appearances. Try not to be too disturbed, Kiba."

Madara chuckled off to Sasuke's right. "How astute of you."

Naruto could be heard jumping to his feet. "HEY! I'm gonna KILL you, you JERK!"

"Jeez, you guys. Why is it I'm always stuck between the two loudest shinobi in the world?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Now you know how I felt back in Team Seven."

"Should I go?" Madara's voice sounded, to Sasuke, quite amused.

"No! Wait. I wanna know why the hell we're in here. And why are there dead people?"

"I'm NOT dead!"

"Be quiet, Tsuchi! Jeez, if I can't have a civil conversation with this guy I will personally seal all of your mouths shut FOR EVER."

"I think I'll go for a walk," Tsuchi muttered snidely, her clothes rustling as she got to her feet.

Sasuke could hear Madara taking a seat in the blackness. "Your name is Shikamaru?"

"That's not the point. Why are we here?"

"Well, when two people love each other _very much_…"

"That's NOT what I meant!"

Madara's laugh sounded like metal on a cheese grater. For such an old, _insane_ geezer, sometimes he had the mind of a six-year-old. Sasuke grimaced. Bipolar jerk.

"Okay, okay. Fine. Why are we here? Well, you've gotten the gist of it. That kid opened a rift in space-time and sucked out all of the life in one point in the future to contain that mine."

"That's…bad?" Kiba sounded uncharacteristically subdued.

"Yeah, it's bad. It means that suddenly our world vanished because of the Gelel, and somehow a bunch of people were brought back to life from the force of the explosion. That made performing my jutsu especially hard, but I did it in the end. Of course."

Sasuke was now intrigued. "Why did you suck us into this dimension, then?"

Madara laughed. "Sasuke, Sasuke. I'm not _evil_. I'm here to promote world peace. I can't do that if there's no world to promote peace _in_, now can I?"

"So you…_saved_ us?" Shino's voice, though usually rather monotone, was skeptical. Sasuke couldn't blame him if he tried.

"No, you all are just here to become Orochimaru's experiments."

"AAAAAH! RUN AWAY!"

"Nauto! Sit down, you're stepping on my hand!"

"I DON'T WANNA END UP LIKE SASUKEEEEEE!"

Sasuke buried his face in his hands. "_This_ is why I left."

Madara cackled. "I'm joking. I'm joking. Look, just because I'm the so-called evil guy doesn't mean I can't have good intentions."

"Madara, why exactly are you trying to explain this to a bunch of kids?"

This time, even Sasuke jumped. The voice was strikingly familiar…

"…And more importantly, would you mind turning on the lights?"

"...WHAT! Kabuto! You traitor BASTARD!"

Sasuke gave a start. For once, Naruto seemed to be right. Kabuto. Huh. Long time no see.

* * *

**Heyyy. More bad guys make an appearance!**

**So right now it seems like all this fic is going to be is people sitting in the dark and talking. That's NOT what it is. This is just a very, very VERY long prologue.**

**It should be ending around the next chapter, ****I promise! DATTEBAYO!**

**~ins**

**BTW, all you guys who picked up on the Monty Python reference...TWO COOKIES FOR YOU! XD**


	6. Of apologizing

**CHAPTER FOUR**

_**In which we venture into the shadows of Shino's mind…and Sasuke tries his hand at apologizing**_

**/\**

If it were up to Shino, he'd have sent out insects, pinpointed Kabuto's exact position and then held him immobile with his chakra-draining bugs while Kiba and Naruto unleashed their fury upon the bespectacled traitor.

But of course, Shino couldn't, because Madara was there, too, and there was no telling what that guy was capable of…well, other than sucking an entire population into his space-time jutsu.

"Kabuto, I believe it is important to educate the young of our time…well, _your_ time since I'm technically supposed to be generations dead by now…but oh well…and besides, they sounded especially murderous, and I wanted to set a few things straight."

"Well, that's great," Kabuto sounded as though he was extremely irritated. "but I've suddenly lost Orochimaru's powers and, thanks to your jutsu, my eyesight is either worse than it was or you've put us on the dark side of the moon."

Madara clapped his hands gleefully, and Shino's eyebrows shot up at his antics. "You're not much more fun when you're you. We're going to have to work on that. Now…Orochimaru must be floating around here somewhere as well, then. I must go and say hello."

From somewhere across from Shino, Sasuke did a double take. "WHAT! I _killed _him."

"You so did not." This voice was new. Shino was no longer surprised at the amount of random people popping up; instead, he kind of expected it.

Sasuke apparently recognized the voice, however. "I…ITACHI?"

Shino blinked under his useless sunglasses. Uchiha Itachi, the cause of all of this recent pain…well, partly. One could actually _feel_ the guy smirk.

"Hello, little brother. And I'm sorry to say, but _I_ actually killed him."

"Wrong." Kabuto sounded smug. Shino raised an eyebrow. "You might have killed his body, but you didn't kill him. Orochimaru's powers transferred into me…though now I think he took them back since he's actually…ah…_alive_ again."

Sasuke didn't really seem to care about all that, though. "Itachi. You're really _here_."

"Well, yes," Madara mumbled, and Shino blinked again. Was it strange that he kept forgetting the evil mastermind was _still there_? …Probably. "Itachi…back from the dead as well."

"Tobi. Or should I say Madara?" Itachi replied, coldly. "Good to see you again. I must say I think I'd rather see you making a complete fool of yourself."

"ITACHI."

"YES, SASUKE."

"WHAT THE HELL."

"…Pardon?"

Someone suddenly stomped his foot and Shino just _knew_ it had to be Naruto. "Great! Itachi, I know you have _no_ idea how glad I am to see you, even though you're a god damn creeper. See, Sasuke? We've brought your brother back! Well…uh…that Tobi guy did. Or Madara. Whatever. So…you'll come back now? Huh? Huh?"

Sasuke fell silent. "Naruto."

"Yeah?"

"SHUT UP WHEN I'M TRYING TO APOLOGIZE, DEAD-LAST."

Shino's eyebrows shot up.

"Yeah, I guess that's a bit hard for you, huh?" Kiba muttered. "Not even a 'thanks' for trying to get you back from those Sound Five jerks. Jeez, man."

"Oh. Thank you for inviting me on that, by the way," Shino interjected, slightly hurt. "You know, a real friend would have noticed that I would have _gladly_ come along…"

"Shino. You were on a mission."

"…Right."

"Stop getting all sulky!" Naruto exclaimed. "Geez, you expected me to recognize you when your face was all covered up! What's wrong with you, I don't have super vision!"

"…Right."

Kiba and Naruto made identical exasperated sounds and Shino crossed his arms in front of his chest. He was _never_ on any of the important missions! Maybe he would go find TenTen and they could be sulky together.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!"

The force of Sasuke's bellow was enough to nearly blow Shino's hood off.

"ALL RIGHT THEN. Itachi, I'm sorry I killed you. You really should have told me. It's your fault I'm an avenger."

Sasuke's voice sounded a bit strained. If Shino didn't know him better, he'd say the guy was trying not to cry. "Danzo is dead."

"Is he really? Lovely. You know, Little Brother, much as I appreciate it, you don't really need to go about looking for excuses to kill people."

"Aw, isn't this just so _heartwarming_?" Madara muttered. "Sorry to rain on your parade, Sasuke, but Danzo's probably somewhere in here, too."

Sasuke growled in frusteration. "WHAT. THAT _SUCKS_! I almost killed Karin to kill that guy!"

Itachi sighed, and Shino thought he could hear the grin on the murderer's lips. "See what I mean?"

Kin cracked her neck and cleared her throat. "Look, this is all great, but why am I the only non-Konoha ninja in this dump?"

"It's not a dump!" Madara whined, startling Shino once again. "It's NOT a dump! Because Tobi is a good boy! And _because_ Tobi is a good boy, Tobi's jutsu will _never_ be labeled as a…a…DUMP."

There was a resounding smack and a whimper. "You have serious bipolar issues," said Itachi.

"What a schizo," Kiba muttered, and Shino had to agree with him.

Kin whistled, sounding exasperated. How that was possible, Shino wasn't quite sure. "Hey. HEY. I'm still here, people. Care to explain yourself, Mad-guy?"

Madara gave a little cough and stopped his whimpering. "_'Hem_. You know, I'm not really sure. Maybe it's something in the air. More people should be waking up around now, what with the commotion we're making…I should like this whole thing to get started soon-like."

"Heyyy, that's weird, though. How come I'm not with Bee and Yamato in that island?"

"Bee…as in Killer Bee, the Eight-Tails jinchuuriki? What island? Doing what sorts of things?" Madara asked, suddenly interested.

Shino frowned. What a creep.

Naruto's mouth fell open and a rather untintelligent sound drew out the silence. "Uuuuuuh. N-nothing. Nothing at all. I ain't telling you. Just…JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION."

Madara sighed. "How should I know? Maybe your friend Bee is right next to you. Maybe he's on the other side of the dimension. It's pitch black in here, Naruto. Even I can't control that."

"Hey! Someone say my name? Yo, I'm Bee, and that ain't lame!"

This time, Shino almost had a heart attack. It didn't help that the voice had come from right next to his ear. He managed to suppress his shock (like always, of course) and he let out his breath very quietly. Don't make any sudden movements. They can sense fear.

"Huh!" at the appearance of this…_Bee_ person, Naruto sounded pleasantly surprised. Shino snorted. The guy had the decency to sound happy to see everyone else…_but_ Shino. He'd even said hello to the numer-one hyperactive ninja and all he'd gotten was a 'WHAT THE HELL WHO ARE YOU CREEPER?'

"Naruto! What's up, my bro?"

"Heyy! Bee!"

There was a smack, and suddenly both Bee and Naruto fell backwards.

"You damn lug, your fist just met my mug!"

"Dammit, that was right in the stomach…and I haven't eaten for days!"

* * *

_**Does anyone else feel that Madara would have a bit of a bipolar/schizophrenic personality? I mean, he just spent several years as a hyperactive idiot called Tobi, wouldn't he have a bit of that energy left over? That's my theory anyway.**_

/

**Hey! So I understand this is kind of hectic (or maybe it is only in my mind) but I will be updating again with a new first chapter, just a heads up for you readers.**

**Also you may have noticed I changed the title and the synopsis. They are both MUCH better now, you will find.**

/

**Reviews are always welcome...even encouraged. Don't be afraid, I don't bite. Usually.**

**~ins**


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